September Musing: I

How far do we have to go to find happiness? How far must we travel to know if we have reached the haven of our dreams? How far will we fall in a world broken and lost forgotten echoes?

These are questions I ask myself often enough. My job has taken a hit. I work 30 hours a month, at the moment. Is thirty hours enough to support me and my ailing mother, to care for us and our home and our animals? It isn’t, no. I’m okay with the situation because I know things will turn around. I just have to work a bit harder. Worry a bit less.

Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Karma turns and runs, it embraces and it burna. The Wheel will turn.

Perhaps, in a way, I am more reflective today. My mind, it whirls and tries to put words to the turmoil the rest of me is aware of. Why must it be so difficult to be genuine?

Who am I?

What am I?

Am I a soul in a body or a body in possession of a soul? Will the “Me” of now be the same “Me” in an hour? Will I be the same “Me” in a month? In a year? Truthfully I must ask how many shifts there are to “Me” and wonder if they are actually real.

The mind is nothing more than a memory regurgitating things it was taught long ago, putting meaning to sounds and images. Is there meaning? I can’t say. I am not the Master who Sees, but I am the Student that hopes to Listen.

Is it okay to lose interest in a subject that once made me happy? Is apathy an illness or a warning to a developing condition solely in the mind?

When does Indifference turn into Depression?

How does one know?

Is the world circular or is without ends or beginnings? I sometimes wonder about that because, when we walk, the ground itself is layered but it does not twist and bend to make a perfect sphere one sees with a Globe.

What is Space?

What is Time?

In the End: What Am I?


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